By Justin Creech
Staff writer
Thursday, August 9, 2012

Military spouses on post whose sponsor is deployed, geographically separated, on an unaccompanied tour or extended temporary duty assignment are invited to the Army Community Service Relocation Readiness Program’s Hearts Apart meeting, Aug. 16 from 6 to 8 p.m. at the ACS building.

The meeting gives spouses a venue to share their feelings with relocation readiness representatives, Military Family Life Consultants and experienced spouses about their sponsor’s absence, concerns they may have regarding themselves and their children, and suggestions for how to handle their issues.

“There’s no real structure to it; we let the spouses run the meeting,” said Amy Altersitz, Relocation Readiness Program, manager. “It’s a chance for them to talk about what their concerns are, not us guiding them through a class.”

Spouses talk about expecting their first child and their sponsor not being around, or communication issues they are having with their spouse because of where his or her training or deployment is.

Veteran spouses are helpful because they validate the feelings of inexperienced spouses.

“It’s nice to have them there so the first timers can see they are feeling the right way and learn ways to get through the situation,” said Altersitz. “It’s a nice support group to get out and know your feelings are valid.”

The playroom is open and staffed so parents don’t have to watch their children during the meeting, and a meal is provided for the spouses and children.

The meeting generally takes place in the ACS conference room, but is sometimes moved to a more relaxed setting.

One of the recurring issues covered at the Hearts Apart meetings is answering children’s questions about why their mother or father is away and when they are coming home, especially if the child is young, so they are comfortable expressing their feelings.

“There are a lot of questions the kids come up with, so we teach parents how to talk to their kids to get them to express things,” Altersitz said. “We also let them know of services available to them if they feel someone else needs to speak with their child.”

Spouses are made aware of other ACS services available to them if they feel themselves or their children need additional support.

“If we feel a spouse would benefit from going to the Scream Free Parenting class we suggest they go to it,” said Altersitz. “If that class is going on during the Hearts Apart meeting, we tell the spouse they can go to it if they want to.”

Altersitz and the MFLCs are happy to stay past the scheduled end time of the meeting if anyone comes late or wants to continue talking.

“We are here as long as the spouses need us to be,” Altersitz said.

For more information or to register for the next meeting, call (703) 805-5058.